hey guys,

i'm sorry i haven't blogged in a while hey, but i've been quite busy with everything else ><>.> unfortunately; i guess that means that i'm like completely bogged down by work (as most of you who read this blog would also be). but not to fear, i guess i've found a little bit of time (in between psychology and calculus) to write a bit about something interesting.

Relationships. Hahaha, those who know me well will know that i'm more than just interested in this topic; if i had to name one of my themes in life, it would be relationships. i know that alot of people differ in where they place their emphasis on life, for some people it is more self focused, for others it is more focused on others, for others yet it may be focused on i dont know, objects around them? =\

I guess the question that comes first into mind is why do people differ so much? and honestly i cant answer you. "The heart has its reasons that reason itself does not know" - pascal 1678. (blame psychology).


This is a photo taken on my cuz's very cool camera. To others it may seem like just a happy shot; but look a bit closer and let's identify some things in this photo that underly. For example, the amount of relationships here. a few off the top of my head, we have boyfriend/girlfriend, we have cousins, we have siblings, we have friends, and we have best friends.

Imagine if one more person were added in there. Say aunty Ina (ken's mum). We would then have a few extra relationship links established wouldn't we? Aunty/nephew. Aunty/Niece . Mum/daughter. Mum/son. Interesting isn't it?(haha i can see you rolling your eyes xD)

But what significance do relationships have? i mean, what's the difference between somebody who has multiple relationships and is therefore defined as 'popular' (although i have no belief in that term) and somebody who has no relationships and is defined as 'loner' (again..no belief in ther term). I guess many could arguably say that the difference is not much.

A friend once told me that life is what you make it, as a function of who you are. (to be honest i still dont exactly understand it xD) but i guess that it means you determine how you'll live your life; as you should live it- because you are you, and nobody else. Did that make sense?

Relationships mean alot to me. I guess as a function of who i am, it makes sense doesn't it? I'm a very dependant person; emotionally especially. I like to rely on alot of my friends to share my good times, and to share my bad times (sorry guys XD). As a result, i naturally draw people close to me through experiences that we go through. It's not special, if you're that type of person, it just happens. Good? bad?

It does have it's bad sides. When you find yourself with nobody to turn to, or nobody to talk to? Yeah you're left stranded and you sometimes feel very lonely. But thank God i have amazingly awesome friends (and i know it very well) that wouldnt turn me down even if i asked them to.

To be honest, i love it. I love having people there, i love sharing things with people, i love depending on people, i love helping people. It doesn't make me an extrovert, but rather makes me less of an introvert. (which i hope makes sense, but somebody smart will probably disprove me XD keep reading Ken... xP)

It's just the way God made me. Just like God created loners i mean independant people (i'm joking xD). In all seriousness though; there are people who i envy for the amount of personal strength they have. They can manage a problem i would consider relatively significant without even telling a single soul; save perhaps God. Sometimes i acknowledge this isn't good.....but at the same time, i guess i generally notice that these people can control the extent to which their problems get to them. Which is a 'trait' i could only wish i had.

Of course to an extent i'm stereotyping. There are people who are dependant and yet also extremely independant. Dont ask me how it works, because i dont know.

But i do know something, and that's no matter who you are; what type of person you are; you're important. It doesn't matter if only 5 people, or 50 people can say you're important; if one person can say you're imporant to them. Then you are, important.


So the next time you look at a picture; think about what it means, not just what it shows.

Fin~

p.s all the wonderful pictures were taken by my cuz. (ok, the camera was positioned by her)

Recently i seem to be questioning alot of things going on around me, not just university related and everything; but i guess alot of the time personal relationships and stuff; that have just changed state i guess. I dont really know if it's a good thing but yeah. I guess it's because alot of the people around me, the people i love alot; well i dont know how to say it directly, but they seem to be leaving.

I dont mean this in a very obscure manner as in like they're abandoning me or whatever- the people i know wouldn't do that. But i guess alot of you know about my grandpa, who's not doing too great; suffered from a stroke just recently and is still in ICU (please pray for him).

I guess i dont really know what i'm feeling alot of the time, it's really easy to just plaster a smile on your face and walk around university with friends laughing and having fun; but the friends that know you, they just see straight through you.

I guess i'm being pretty emo hey? haha, sorry, that wasn't my intention.

I wanted to share something that happened, that's related to my grandpa. Something i sorta just realised but i earnestly and seriously thank God for.

This happened exactly 2 weeks before my grandpa had a stroke. I was in Garden City (for the Perth people) and i was with 2 of my friends, Valerie and her boyfriend Jeff; and another friend Ian popped by later. We were having a really good time shopping and whatnot making fun of each other (as per usual XD) when a group of wesley kids i knew recognised me and headed in my direction. We (myself and the WC boys) were catching up on the good times, talking and having fun, and obviously my friends didn't stick around; they decided to move on ahead; i told them i'd catch up later.

So i talked and talked for a good half an hour, before i decided to move on and meet val and the rest. So i kept walking...but i just couldn't find them; just didn't know where they went (turns out they went into the pet shop >.>). Yeah, so i decided to call Ian, i mean he was driving me home haha, didn't want to lose him ><.

So i called and waited...the dialtone went a bit funny and i was greeted by a massive "HELLO" that positively did not sound like Ian at all. So i was like, Hi...ian? and the voice yet again yelled out "HELLO!" so i was like, ok this is weird and i decided to look at who i must've called.

Turns out i connected an international call, yeah you guessed it- straight to my grandpa's handphone. (note: Ian begins with I, i have no H contacts, grandpa begins with G, easy mistake to make...i'm not retarded XD) so naturally i was a bit like ah shit...there goes like 10 bucks. But for those that do know my grandpa, it's impossible to turn him down in conversation...especially me, i'm his only grandson man- i couldn't just tell him, "err..yeah sorry gramps, wrong number"
and it's not like we're not close or anything, so i decided why not? just talk to him for a bit.

So we talked for around 10 minutes, on just the trivial things. University, Life in general, how things were in malaysia, mum's condition and everything. And at the end of it, i was quite happy; so i asked for his e-mail so i could email him. So we exchanged emails and then hung up. I got that feeling you know, that...somehow well not only he brightened my day, but i also brightened his; and that made me really happy.

so throughout the next 2 weeks, i emailed him almost every day asking how he was, how was the family. I didnt care if i said things twice in emails or repeated myself, i knew he didn't care either. I just knew that i was really glad to get to 'talk' to him so regularly. The day before his stroke, i sent him a birthday email; wishing him all the best and many many more years to come- i also promised him i'd visit next year.

yeah, i've still been e-mailing him as often as i can..unfortunately with mid semesters it hasn't been that much. Also because he's really weak now, and cant exactly read himself in ICU. Just yesterday my aunty told me although he couldn't talk, he asked about me. Just spelt out my name, j-o-n.

and i dont know why, even as i type this; i miss him more and more, or why whenever i walk through the shopping centers and see a grandpa and his grandson/daughter, i think of all the times that we spent together, all the memories just come flooding back. I love my grandpa alot, i guess that's why most of my relatives keep in touch with Perth through me.

But i do know something, and that's God planned everything from start to end. I have no doubt that the phone call to malaysia wasn't an accident at all; neither do i all the e-mails, and all the laughs that we had with each other even uptil this point. No doubt, i want my grandpa to get better, and i'm still earnestly hoping and praying that he does; but uptil this point? God was watching over both of us; and He still is.

So for those who read this..managed to read the whole thing haha; i want to tell you something, share with you a little something. Time spent with your loved ones is valuable beyond belief. You have no idea of what you have until you lose it. And trust me, that losing may come any day, any time; you have no idea when it may come.

Dont waste time, every second counts. Every single word you say to them counts- and every single thought you have of them also counts. I wish somehow, i learnt that earlier. Like what my Cuz told me- live a life of no regrets.

I was walking through university today and i was observing somehow, a lot of couples that seemed to be in the area. And as i was walking past a particular couple; i heard the guy say something to the girl; something i haven't heard in a while (lol i wonder why >.>)

"You're beautiful"

How often do you hear that nowadays? To be fair, only people in relationships would hear it wouldn't they? because well..it's a bit weird saying it to a friend, although i guess you could, couldn't you? I dont know why it affected me so much but i felt quite..touched by it. Lol i know that the guy didn't by any means direct the statement at me (hell no xD) but it was something i was glad that, i guess was still circulating.

When was the last time you ever told somebody that they were beatiful, be it your mum or your grandpa..or your girlfriend/boyfriend, or your friend.

beautiful://having beauty; having qualities that give great pleasure or satisfaction to see, hear, think about, etc. delighting the senses or mind. wonderful, very pleasing or satisfying. Excellent of its kind.

See, when most people hear "beautiful" they almost immediately think of somebody like jessica alba or Kiera knightley (have your pick) but what most people dont realise is that the term beautiful isn't just relevant to looks. It's also relevant to personality, current state of relationship and even personal feelings towards that person.

I mean, sure it'd be a bit weird going up to a friend and suddenly blurting out "oh have i told you lately that you're beautiful?" or anything along those lines. But you know something?

i think everybody in their life, deserves to hear it at least once from somebody they love. Dont worry, lol, i'm not goin to go around the streets of Perth telling every second bum that they're beautiful, nor will i make you feel awkward by telling you in front of a crowd hahaha; but you know; especially to all the readers of this blog- whom most of you i know as close friends; i just want you to know that yea,

you're beautiful.

Fin~