heyyy guysssss

woah, i'm so tired hey. Like i've had a full on day today >< allow me to elaborate.

Uni was seriousllyyy ...well actually today was pretty good hey. I got to uni just in time for my mathematics lecture; which was ...kinda difficult; but still understandable XD. Then Psych lecture and human bio lab etc etc....

but that wasn't what my day today was about. Today i spent time with my friends (and i fail to bring photos >< but i will soon) and it was significant because they're like my new group of friends. And i was shocked because i'm still sorta getting over the ..i've left wesley sorta thing. And every lunch time instead of looking out for like Leon and Rob and Pas; i actually have to you know...see who i can hook up with sort of thing.

Usually people hang around different crowds everyday; like whatever day it is depending on what course they just had; they sorta...mingle with that group. But thank God, i found a more stable group? Even though they dont reli share many of the same classes as me or anything like that; i still manage to meet up with them. And i think they're my more..'stable' group.

To be fair, one of them is an old wesley friend; but you know, since we meet each other again in university, i count the connection as that of a new one. And it's surprising really because like... i didn't think that i'd be able to get over the whole school thing so fast. Because in school you know where to go, who to look out for, who to hang out with and everything, but in university life seems so freeflow, come and go sorta thing. That sometimes i'm afraid that i might lose myself in all the people and events going on haha.

But i'm really glad that i found these guys. And they're people that i can click with too, they can make me laugh, we can laugh together but also i can see that when they need to get serious; they can. And i'm really glad- because...well sometimes you just feel alone in uni with all the people around you that you dont know. But, im just happy that..well i can at least (hopefully hahaha!!!) stick with these guys for the year, if not uni life.

Then again, only God knows what will happen; but it's nice forming relationships like these; it feels somewhat fulfilling. Like one of them said to me, not just like about knowing everybody in the university campus and buying popularity; it's important to form relationships on a deeper level as well. And i completely agree with that- because in uni things can get quiet hectic, and it's really hard to find somebody to talk to when you need to.

I'm hoping this group will grow!! but so far im just glad. Because i think they're really reasonable people.

i mean, at the end of the day, you just thank God for such a smooth transition into a life that's seemingly so hectic and all over the place.

Fin~

Heyy once again;

those that manage to look at the time, please dont scold me haha; i assure you i'm going to go to sleep straight after this. I just felt like blogging about something to straighten out my thoughts; which is usually all the time; so you people that liked to read all messed up thoughts haha, be my guest; but please dont come yelling at me if they dont make sense XD

uni's kept me pretty busy these days, i mean; i'm quite surprised that the workload i'm getting is actually a workload, and even though i work; sometimes i fall quite far behind and have to work even harder just to catch up. Most people assure me that i dont need to work so hard, but i cant see how it's possible to even get half of the assignments done on time, let alone most of them if i dont manage to work...like i am now?

I figure that the reason why i can be so tired is because i'm pushing myself too hard. i haven't really had much time for a break or anything, it's just been fully on the go go go sort of ....and with some different circumstances i guess i find myself in even more difficult situations in terms of time management and sacrificing some things for other things.

But you know, as long as my Source of strength is with me, then i guess i really cant go wrong can i? I guess i just have to keep pushing; hahaha, see what happens i guess.

Giving...that's something i've been thinking alot about lately. Especially in relationships, what does it mean to give? Like...i'm pretty sure we all know the common definition that is handing out something without necessarily receiving anything in return. But to give..why can it be so hard to give?

I think sometimes why i'm reluctant to give is because; well...sometimes i dont get anything back? and i know that sounds awfully self centered. But isn't it true? Can one just keep giving without receiving anything in return? CAN you actually keep complimenting a person when all you receive back is just a grunt and a "get lost"?

I think you can. In fact, i know you can. Especially if that person is a stranger.

But what if that person is closer to you, somebody you know, a good friend, a best friend, a girlfriend or a boyfriend. Can you continually give without expecting anything back in return? I, for one, think that it's alot harder to give without receiving in return from a closer relationship because of exactly that, the fact that it is an established relationship. but then i also understand that it depends on the reason for building that relationship in the first place.

I hate thinking about what i'm going to receive, but ...sometimes you just get tired of just giving. It's human nature. If there is one person on this planet that can claim to be able to give everything they have without receiving or expecting to receive anything back, they are either lying or going to die before the age of 30.

Or am i wrong? Maybe deeper down inside us there really is an almost Christ-like potential to be able to give all...one's life? For another. I've certainly seen it happen before. But is that extreme dedication or stupidity? Guess only the person who's given will ever know, and by then it's a bit late isn't it.

what if you give so much that it becomes detrimental to you..yet you still keep giving.

Is that Honorable or Stupid.

Then again, God...gave us His all didn't He? I'm sure He didn't have any reservations either, when He sent His son down. Considering that all He got at the time was a load of insults and the eventual death of His Son;...

but then again, dont we, as christians, in return praise Him now? doesn't He receive our praise?

But i guess....God doesn't need that. I'm sure He likes it, but He doesn't need it. He gave us eternal life at the expense of His son.

Now, in complete debt to Him, we give Him our all. We shouldn't be receiving anything back, because theoretically the equation is already balanced. But He still continues giving to us. After all that time..

Thank You, and you. and you.

i now know my answer.

But God; i am so tired.

Fin~

No matter where you go, oh; you will always know:
you have been made free in Christ
You are a child of Mine.

"i would do anything for her."

That's something that's said an awful lot these days, isn't it? For girls, change the her 2 him (or not xD) i was thinking about it today as i talked to a friend i hadn't actually...well, properly talked to in a few years (6-7?) and she brought up some interesting topics about relationships (in particular boy/girl) but also other relationships; that really started to make me think hahaha (as always.)

What does that actually mean? i think that basically it's a way of saying, or rather committing yourself to that person. Smart choice? I dont know, especially since it depends on the person we're talking about here. But i do know that around 99% of the people who say this would not jump off a cliff for the person in topic, and the 1% who would are just stupid.

I think literally, the statement is generally false. Symbolically though, even i use it. As a way of saying that the person means alot to me, that i care, and that they have my attention and dedication. each opinion to his own =)

Would you say that to somebody else? Apart from your girlfriend/boyfriend? Hahaha, hard isn't it. I know that i wouldn't walk up to a stranger on the street and just go, "hey, i would do anything for you" because things would probably get violent from there xD

On that note...i would be able to use it on friends. Some friends relatively easily. I know that when i mean that, it's more the aspect of me doing anything to be able to make them smile. If that includes walking to their house in the dead of the night and saying a brief hi before trying to beat the sunrise on the way back(which i have done before XD) or even small things, so small till perhaps it just includes a smile and a wave as you pass them.

My dad says that this particular phrase,

"it's the thought that counts"

is really cheap XD (sorry lads). To be honest i think it's cheap, only when it's used cheaply. When somebody cant be bothered to pull out the extra money to buy something special, or cant be bothered to pull out the money at all; i think that yea, it's cheap. But if somebody really tried their best to make that person happy, and gave it alot of attention and dedication? I think that it's a very usable phrase; because ultimately, it's not the object that you GIVE, that matters, it's the person's REACTION to the object you give, and how their FEELINGS change, when you give that object.

For example, on valentines day, i could give my girlfriend a dead quokka, telling her that it took me all night to catch the bloody thing and beat it up so she wouldn't have to feed it. Or i could take the time to make her a card, buy a rose for her, or even make the extra effort just to see her on that particular day.

Perhaps my analogy isn't that good hahaha xD But i'm sure that even if you dont agree, you can see what i'm getting at.

One person did that to strangers, one person told strangers that they mean everything to him, and that he'd die for them. Yeap, not just one stranger, a whole world full of them.

Doesn't take a proverbial genius to see where i'm going with this. It overly and overly amazes me at how the God of the universe could send His son down to die for us. And even though we were, sure all His children, but at the same time relative strangers; He just...went ahead with it. Bridged the gap between here and heaven.

Now if you dont call that amazing Love; i honestly cant say that you're a human.

Haiz wouldn't you just love it if somebody off the street came up to you and promised to be there everytime you were sad, to help you everytime you needed it, to comfort you in times of trouble...to stick with you regardless?

Hahaha, actually you'd probably freak out first hey xD

But i guess it's good to get that...attention? I think that it's something in humans, that everybody wants to be wanted. Not selfish ambition (well, it is in a way); but at the same time just human nature to be wanted, to be cared for, to be loved.

Thank you for all the people who have been with me through all my troubling times, times of doubt, hurt, pain and sorrow. I can't express that enough; you all mean an awful lot to me.

Hahah duh, nobody would want a friend who'd abandon you when you needed them most.

so then, ....

what do you think?

Fin~